How to Stay in a Gay Monogamous Relationship

This is one thing that i want to share with everybody...
One of the most contested issues in the gay world today involves the “M” word. Gays and straights alike are wondering whether this word is meant for gays, or whether it is just aping the straight society. Is it a basic human instinct or is it just an idiotic social construct? No, this “M” word does not refer to marriage. It refers to monogamy.
For many gays, monogamy doesn't apply. How can monogamy (etymology = “one marriage”) apply to those people who are not even allowed by law in many states and countries to marry? On the other hand, many others believe that monogamy can work for gay couples. This article provides some tips for gays on how to stay monogamous.
Step 1
The first step requires you to think, think, and think. Are you ready for a monogamous relationship? It means both you and your partner should be faithful to each other. No sidelines. No one-night-stands. No flings. If you're considering this arrangement, you should think hardly of how you really care about the person you love.
You need to ask yourself: “Am I ready for commitment?” “Can I remain faithful?” “How about those hot guys I'm fantisizing to have sex with?” If you're ready for a monogamous relationship, then is is very likely that you can stay monogamous once you enter the relationship.
Step 2
Here's a quick test. Bring your partner to any place frequented by sizzling hot guys. Your favorite gay bar is an ideal place. Or have a stroll in a park where gorgeous men assemble. Look for a guy that attracts you big time. What if this guy approaches you and asked you to hang out? What would you do?
(a) Say “yes” instantly and dump your partner right then and there. (b) Say “yes” and explain to your partner that you really want to have sex with this guy just for once. (c) Say “no” and meet the guy when your partner is not around. (d) Say “no”, hold your partner's arm, and leave. If you answer, a, b, or c, then you're not yet ready for a monogamous relationship. Proclaiming that you're ready when you're not would only jeopardize the relationship.
Step 3
Once you're on a monogamous relationship, you and your partner need to talk about your relationship regularly. Checking in with each other and seeing how you're both feeling about the relationship will help you iron out problems you might have. Telling your partner that you almost gave in when a guy asked you out shows your honesty.
Honesty is a very crucial component of a monogamous relationship among gay couples. Having a regular discussion can also enhance the intimacy between you and create a much stronger bond. Remember, a good communication makes a good relationship.
Step 4
Being and acting monogamous and faithful can be very difficult. Here's what you have to do: If you really love your partner, tell yourself over and over that he's the one for you. Make “he's the one for me” an everyday mantra. Remind yourself always of how much he and the relationship means to you. It is also important that you accept your weaknesses and do something about them, with the help of your partner.
Step 5
As much as possible, avoid going to places where you can find gay guys who are out to have sex with every guy they see. You're only human – you can become weak sometimes if you're surrounded by people who don't choose to have a monogamous relationship. Of course, you can go to these places from time to time, given that your close friends are around.

A New Life ~ New Start

Today, its 4 months now... Yes, 4 Months in relationship. It's not a joke to for a monogamous gay relationship to reach 4 months, there a lot of things happen to us. Now, 4 months but my heart is full of bruises and scars that brought from this relationship. But before anything else, Lets start from the very beginning.


May 23, 2009 (Saturday Night): Watching a boring night movie on the TV, and suddenly thinking to call my mom back home... she told me that she met my ex bf and she said that my ex bf is still wants me back, its like OMG after 2 years of silence, but it doesnt catch my interest anymore, i just brushed it away with other topics. After 2 hours of laughing and talking with my mom my friends forced me to go for clubbing, I dressed normal, very simple and unfabulous... Its a normal clubbing night for me, same faces of clubbers... I'm not drunk, a bit tipsy though... then after clubbing we went to our normal stop before heading home, in maxwell hawker centre. While sipping our cold drinks in maxwell, Bjorn - one of my closest friend had this idea going to absolute, ermmm... absolute is a gay sauna... its like a one stop shop for sex, its unholy hour of 5am, expect that only few guys were there. But since I'm not working that day I decided to go with them and have some fun with the guys in there. When I'm already in absolute, francis already had a partner, bjorn already have a partner too... its already 6 am and I'm still there standing waiting for someone to approach me and have a good time with him. Bang! suddenly there is one guy who really look interesting who appear from the dark side, and Wow, he has a nice body, good height and a good looking considering my own preference, i like him and telling my self this is it! but he stopped for couple of seconds looking at me and having this smile in his face... and he walked away. :( i was so sad... i feel ugly! hahaha... so i went up in the cafe have a stick of ciggy and after that went down again to try my chance with other guys. I stand there for couple of minutes and wait... waiting... and waiting.... and this guy a while ago passed by again and he stopped, look at me for seconds smiled and walked away...he was in the other side standing... and i count 20 if he didnt approached me, im going to make my own move. 20 seconds... well he didnt moved, and i made my own move... approached him, touched him here and there, hahaha... and he gave the same reaction... And whohooo!!! we get inside the room and had a good time, i asked his name, he answered me, is that important? hahaha! and I keep quiet the whole session, Its so damn Good! I Swear! after the whole session, he say something... finally! "I'm Hans" and of course i say my name, I'm Kim... we rest for a while had some talk. I like him, A LOT!!! Until our conversation stopped by the opening of the lights in the whole sauna it means its already 8am and we need to go home. So, I asked for his number... I texted him first while in the cab going home. I reached home and there is no message yet, so i went upstairs to prepare the bed for francis because he will sleep beside me since Roni has a date. I tell myself that if this guy sms me i will turn down all my dates and go for him, by the way i'm dating 3 guys in a row that time. So I went down and received a long text message from him and a missed call. Wow! I thought he's not intrested to me, I go to sleep and around afternoon i woke up but there was no sms, maybe he is still asleep... i waited, waiting if he's going to send me a message and he did... for couple of days we exchange messages like crazy saying sweet stuff to each other and decided to meet up again for our first date...

May 27, 2009 (Wednesday) ~ The First date
We decided to meet on thursday because its the day that He and his gym buddy (Fird-which is his ex-bf 10 years ago) rest day from gym, since fird is going for a date that day, he suddenly ask me to move our date a day earlier which is the same day when he texted me, ok... im not prepared, but i know i look presentable, with my skinny jeans, white loafers shoes and a RL long sleeves. I always fix my hair nicely everyday so its not a problem. haha... there you go... we meet in vivo city and had a nice dinner with wine, im nervous but after a while its gone and i feel much more comfortable... i guess that wine helps me . hahaha... we had about 2 bottles of wine. and after took a cab going to tantric, its a gay pub... while on the cab we cant help each other were kissing each other like crazy! haha... and in tantric had more drinks and He said he loves me, i immediately answered him that i love him too... he unlocked my necklace and place his diesel ring as a pendant for my necklace. whew! he sent me home while im vomiting inside the cab. hahaha...

May 28, 2009(friday) - That day!

That day we went for dinner with his best friend fird, and after that go for clubbing and Go to absolute again, but this time to accompany fird, and go home... that day he already confirmed that we are officially together May 29....

Thats how its all started...